school bells are ringing

As I stated earlier, Sam was accepted into the speech program through our school district. He gets to go 2 days a week for 1 1/2 hours. We really talked it up about him getting to go to "school". He was really excited about it, too. (That is until we were actually THERE.)

As a security measure, we have to drop off and pick up the kids at the door, instead of the actual classroom. In a way, I think that this adds to the anxiety of the 3 year olds, (but then again they did not ask me for my opinion) I am not sure what he is doing here, but almost looks as though he is saying a quick prayer "please dear Jesus, be with me today"As I was saying goodbye, Sam softly whispered in his sweet little voice, "mommy, go wiff me"--(thus the reason he is going to speech :)) "don't go, mommy, go wiff me." then he looked at me with those precious brown eyes of his, it took all my strength to not tear up, but instead tell him that he was going to have so much fun and that I would see him in just a little bit. His sweet teacher, Ms. Jennifer, took him by the hand and led him in (not before he looked at me like I was leading him to the wolves, though)true to my word, I was there just a little later to pick him up, he had a big smile on his face, and said that he had a "great day".
I thought we were all good, until Thurs. morning... it was rough, really rough which worried me because Sam has never had a problem going to church, going to class while I am in Bible study, meetings, Acteens etc. Thursday he threw a fit as I was leaving. He clung onto me as tight as he could screaming: "No, MOMMY. Don't go! I DON'T want to go to school!!" as the teacher took him from me he continued screaming "MOMMY! MOMMY! NO, DON'T GOOOOO!" Talk about heart wrenching. Thankfully he was all smiles when I picked him up. Unfortunately this was to continue 3 more times. He would start telling me that he did not want to go to school before we would even leave, all during the drive and then the crying/screaming/clinging would begin at the door. As a parent you know you must just say goodbye, as cheery as you can and make school sound like fun. As a mother, your heart is breaking and you just want to snatch him up in your arms and tell him he doesn't have to go. He now likes going to school and always has a good time there. I am so glad he is happy, and no, I am NOT looking forward to kindergarten!