tiny hands, tiny feet

Last night i was reminded yet again of the blessing and miracle that God allowed me to have when he blessed Kirk and me with Samuel, a happy, healthy precious little boy. I am so grateful to Him that He allowed me to have a pregnancy without complications and a son that i can hug and love. in fact i couldn't wait to get home so that i could have my big hug and smile from the pride and joy of my heart.

(for those of you who don't know, i am a "NICU" Neonatal Intensive Care Nurse ~those are the big words for a nurse who takes care of sick and premature babies) I only work about 2 times a month now and last night was one of the shifts. Sometimes the unit is a happy place to be and sometimes it is sad. unfortuantely this time it was the latter. i was told that the family i was to take care of had made the very difficult decision to remove life support from their very ill child. The dad was holding their tiny son when i arrived and introduced myself. How hard to have to go thru this alone, without extended family, with a limited english vocabulary and me, a nurse that they have never seen before. within 15-20 minutes of my arrival we removed the breathing tube. what do you say to a couple who is holding their baby as he takes just a couple of weak, ineffective breaths on his own. i say a few words, offer support, provide comfort and then private time. He passes away peacefully and quickly in his daddys arms. on the other side of the screen i assume that they know the exact moment he leaves them as mom starts to sob ever so softly. the doctor arrives and tells them that their little boy no longer has a heart beat. I quietly tell them how very sorry i am. his mom washes his mouth and face, we take pictures. i take footprints and handprints, i place his name card, baby bracelet and any other momento that we have into a small handpainted box crafted just for this occasion. i wish that there was more that i could give them to remind them of the 2 short weeks that their son was with us.

it was getting late and they had to go, but we told them of a special program called NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP where a very special group of photographers have signed up to volunteer to take professional pictures of babies for grieving parents and make a slideshow dvd set to music. this is a free service for the families. the photographer came in, it was late on a sat night, now that is what i call a dedicated volunteer. the parents were gone but she took pictures of the baby what a special momento to have. you can look at their website. becareful though... it will probably bring tears to your eyes http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/index.cfm